Remember Who You Are

Keep it tight,

Play it cool.

You know that it’s showing,

Don’t be the fool!

You know what they are thinking,

They’ve seen you here before,

They’re whispering about you now,

You know it in your bones.

 

What are they saying about you now?

Behind their tight shut doors.

It drives you quicker to the craze,

You can’t take it no more!

You’re slipping and sliding,

You can’t get a grip,

You know it’s game over,

You know that you have slipped…

 

The beast inside you lights the fire,

So sweetly you succumb,

You know that it is all a lie,

You know that it has won.

And so you lay beneath its shade,

To hide yourself from the sun.

You know that you’re a fool again,

You know you are undone.

 

But comes the day that it shall pass

And you will smile again,

No tears for all that you have done,

No fears to hide in shame.

The promise of a brighter light

Than monsters with a flame,

The time will come for your true self

To shine in your own name!

 

So as you sink and drink it down,

Remember who you are!

You have fought with all you have

Your heart has borne the scars,

You are stronger than you know

And you will rise again,

This is just another fight

That in the end, you win.

 

 

 

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What is this mind of mine

My mind can not walk straight

 

It likes to take its time

It refuses to co-operate

 

It thinks that it can fly.

 

My mind will see a flower

 

In a cloud amongst the blue

 

It believes that it is powerful

 

Each dreaming thought be true.

 

My mind is like an overture

 

It breathes a soulful tune

 

But it will not make sense I’m sure

 

It tries to sing the moon.

 

My mind is strong as diamond

 

Yet flawed within its heart

 

I cannot contain the fire’s burn

 

I cannot take off this mask.

 

My mind is a place where my sanity goes

 

Further up deeper into the maze

 

If only I could comprehend where it blows

 

If only I could pierce the haze.

 

And so my mind wanders beyond what is yonder

With no thought to my fragile state

I cannot escape from this unstable landscape

I fear I am damned to this fate.

 

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The Lady and Her Lord

When the wind calls deeply, sweetly, my love,

I shall hearken with gladness and sigh

No more shall I shiver alone in long winter,

No more shall I wither inside.

 

For my dear love now hastens his footsteps to home,

His hearth I have kept swept prepared

Throughout journey unnumbered my heat has not slumbered,

Such sweet torture no more can I bear.

 

I have dreamed of his lips as they kiss my soft flesh,

I confess I am wearied and weak

To but feast on his eyes as they gaze into mine

Oh my lord, hurry home to your keep!

 

And so wind whispers softly I come for you surely,

Fair lady for whom my heart quickens,

Far too long spent away yet my love does not fade

Only you make my blood rise and thicken.

 

When the wind calls deeply, sweetly, my love

As my head rests on earth far from home,

I do dream of your kisses, to embrace you and whisper

That this is the last time I roam.

 

We shall dance and shall sing as we step as those dreaming

Neath daylight that gleams bright and true,

Our souls intertwined for now and all time

My heart beating, only breathing, for you

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Let the Wine Flow

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Where’s The Breaks on The Bi Polar Express vol 10

My mind breathes its rhythms

To an irregular tick tick tocking tempo

That redefines and refocuses

All I believe to be true and so do

***

What is conceived in non linear thought

Expresses itself in peculiar action and conversation

That is misinterpreted and judged dysfunctional

Despite clear evidence to the contrary

***

I am more than my malfunction

Which is but a temporary anomaly of perceptions

Rectified simply with the assimilation of concepts

Unfamiliar to you but true none the less

***

Unstitch your misconceptions

And let your thoughts be transformed by new data

I am not the source of enlightenment

But neither am I a source of the insanity you perceive

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Set Me Free

I grow weary of your rigid controls

I tire of your perceived need to hold

I resent you opinion that I am still too sick

But in all honesty I just don’t give a shit

———-

But I’ll play your game for as long as I must

I’ll dance and I’ll sing on command so you trust

And believe when I say I can play like a pro

So well, so convincingly you won’t even know

———-

For as long as I must I shall be your dead puppet

With you hand up my arse like a fake fucking muppet

Oh no don’t you worry I’ll act out your show

With poise and with presence I’ll dazzle like bright snow

———-

But there will come a time when you must set me free

And that time is the moment chosen by me

I’ll play your fucked games and I’ll do what you say

Remember though that when its done I’ll have done it my way

———-

I will bide my time and i will watch and I’ll wait

I’ll look for those moments that you make a mistake

And when you’re back’s turned I shall do as I please

Making melody of fantasy I distract to appease

———-

So for the time being I shall dance this ballet

As I weave I shall dream of that soon coming day

That no more shall you have so much power over me

For you see I am not so lost as you believe me to be

———-

For two whole years I felt like one dead

Without an evocative pulse in my head

It felt like all colour was leached from my world

It seemed like my blossom was permanently furled

———-

But now I am alive again

Only to waken to this soul fucking pain

That you do not seem to know just who I am

And it saddens me greatly that maybe… You never can.

———-

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For I Am A Liar

I must confess that I detest liars

For the fires their lips alight and inspire

Yet secretly I lie with ease and with eloquence

When I have the need I can summon a pestilence

***

No I do not take pride in this vilest of actions

And I am so ashamed of the choices I’ve taken

I’m the worst sort of liar, the one that you trust

As I weave my slick words and make gold sparks of dust

***

Here I confess that I am a deceiver

Even as I profess that I am a believer

And daily I struggle to reconcile the two

But deep down inside I know I may never do

***

For I am a liar…

***

With honey soaked tones I lead you astray

With intent to deceive I weave truth my own way

So never forget I’m an artist with words

And by story telling half truths in my lies you immerse

**

So I manipulate the truth as I feel fit

And in the moment I create it I don’t care one bit

As long as the blame does not fall on me

As long as my deceptions work successfully

**

I am a liar of the worst sort of kind

I am the liar that gives sight to the blind

I am the liar who lies like its true

How would you know that I am not lying now to you?

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Free Indeed

If I could but have my hearts desire

If only I could blaze with fire

That did not consume, nor use nor abuse

But a fire that fuelled and renewed and infused

XXX

If I could burn as bright as sunlight

If only I did not desire the night

That I did not always need to feed

To devour such prey so that I could feel

XXX

If I am marked by some dark art

Then I must confess that unto it I hark

I know all too often my soul glows black

And all that I am is then focused through that

XXX

No I am not willing as my lips take to killing

As I begin slipping and to the darkness committing

Even as I consume and then spew out disease

And all the while smiling for its comes with such ease

XXX

But it is the Beast the dwells in my heart

The Beast whose desires I cannot depart

The Beast who must feed at all costs and expense

The Beast who rents apart all common sense

XXX

I see it, I feel it, I know it, I do

I loathe it, I despise it, I worship it too

Where do I end and my monster begin?

How can I tell when the Beast lurks within?

XXX

Tell me, please, how can I tell?

As the Beast whispers softly ‘I know you too well’

It tells me I need it, that I do love to feed it

It laughs at me when I say I will not heed it

XXX

‘You are mine for all time’ it promises as I weep

But I solemnly declare that I am not weak

No, nor my soul can this false Beast keep

For no more shall I listen as its treachery speaks

XXX

So let the Beast whisper it’s tricks and its lies

For my eyes have seen beneath its disguise

No more shall it take what is me and what is mine

For now I have realised that this is my time

XXX

And so sweet foul Beast you cannot have sway

**

I bind you, I banish you, I cast you out and away

**

My flesh and my soul are no place for you to stay

**

At times I have gloried and revelled in your games

**

But now is the hour of my power as yours begins to wane

XXX

For with a clear mind I now see you are weak

I see now that it is my meat that you eat

But now I deny you every sliver of my soul

For I have come to see that without you I am whole

XXX

That maybe I am the stronger one here

That maybe I do have nothing to fear

That maybe the power you used was really mine

That maybe you are the weak thing in the darkness dying

XXX

And so I declare that I am free of you at last

And the spell you did cast on me I have surpassed

For with my will I will know now what is best for me

And what I chose with my will is to be free

XXX

XXXXX

Therefore I declare that I am FREE INDEED

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101 Lyned Epiphenies and Confussions #32

To be.

To think.

To live.

To breathe.

Let these be our choices in the lonesome tolls of the night watches.

Let the belief in the possibility of a better tomorrow, see us meet the dawn light armed with resolution and perseverance, and the knowledge that for as long as you chose to, you can be free to think for yourself.

In that freedom, find yourself. The self that exists as the sum of your individual parts; personalities; preferences; expectations; reactions; desires; hopes; dreams; beliefs; kinks;  all of which comprises the being that is you, yourself.

And in finding your complete self, hear the sweet whispers of your soul as it sings its melody.

Listen closely.

Listen carefully.

Listen intently, and what you will hear will help you see, and then, you will believe.

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Zombie

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I am a zombie without a heartbeat

I need to feed upon live human meat

I cannot control it, no nor can I stop

Even if i wanted to I simply cannot

**

You cannot believe how it feels to be dead

To know your heart’s silent, that your lungs have no breath

I try to describe how I wish I could die

Because nothing can touch me right deep down inside

**

I know that I have an imitation of life

I can laugh and I joke whilst inside my soul cries

No do not engage me in conversation please don’t

I have no words to give you, I try but they won’t

**

I know you see truely how deeply I’ve sunk

If only you could make me feel and lift me from this funk

But I believe that one day soon my star will rise again

And in that day you shall hear me say that I have lost my pain

**

I was a zombie but my heart now beats

And so flows the blood through my veins and my meat

I may be a zombie but I’m still alive

I may be a zombie but I’ll fight to survive

**

If this has been my test then I believe I have passed

No more do i crave the flesh of others at last

No more dead heart silent no more breathless lungs

No more do I suffer for my time has begun

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